Smart Women Have Better Sex

Women considered to be 'emotionally intelligent' - can express their feelings and read those of others - have better sex lives, recent research from the UK shows.

This makes sense doesn't it? Smart women can read situations better, are more in touch with their feelings and are more likely to get what they want from their partner sexually. According to this recent research, emotionally intelligent women have twice as many orgasms. The results also show that 40% of women find it difficult to fully enjoy sex.

I spoke with Kim Gillespie recently about this. Kim and her business Secrets from The Boudoir specialize in female sexuality. Why does this continue to be such a complex area for many women? I asked Kim this and for any tips she felt would be helpful. Her thoughts are below.

1. Good sex does begin in the brain. It is as simple and as straight forward as that. If, for example, you are holding in anger - it will be very difficult to get in the mood for sex.

In my experience, many women are holding in a lot of repressed anger and this inhibits their sexual pleasure.

Please ladies, if this is the case with you then go and see a psychologist who specializes in women's issues. You owe it to yourself to get to the bottom of your anger and resentment. Try to communicate your feelings more and/or do other activities that have a calming effect on you such as meditation, yoga and relaxation exercises. The most important thing is to stop internalizing anger and pain. Your long-term sexual satisfaction really does depend on it.

2. Lubrication - many things can affect vaginal lubrication. Hormones or medications, for example, can impact. More importantly, a lack of stimulation has a dramatic impact on sexual pleasure. Women in general need at least 20- 30 minutes of foreplay to achieve orgasm and the average male needs only 3-5 minutes. It is not a failure on the woman's part to need extra lubrication but you need to feel confident and comfortable enough to communicate this to your partner. If you feel dryness is a problem even with extended foreplay, then see your family doctor for advice and invest in a good quality natural lubricant (SYLK - can be bought from most chemists and supermarkets)

3. Attitude - if you want to feel sexy... you have to think sexy. Our sexuality is all about embracing ourselves as the wonderful, amazing women that we are. Who cares if we don't have a perfect size 10 body? Most women have wrinkles and cellulite and a little extra padding. Ladies EMBRACE YOUR CURVES. Look at Beyonce and Jennifer Lopez - with curves that would be shunned by any modeling agency. They make no apology for their sexy, full, womanly figures. When you have a sparkle in your eyes, know who you are and where you are headed, you realize the only one holding the key to your own sexual pleasure and enjoyment is you.

4. Too tired for sex - of course you are tired. Modern lives are very hectic for women with kids, career, family and running a household. We all need to slow down and take time out for ourselves. We need to remember to live sensually as women and take the time out to enjoy sexual pleasure. Even if you feel tired initially, it is amazing how quickly you can get in the mood with the right partner. Make time for sexual pleasure.

5. Fantasize - did you know that the more we think about sex, the more we want it? Take time to read erotica ( try Mills and Boon - Blaze - very sexy, or for the really adventurous souls - visit my website to read Mistress Vixens Fantasies) and connect again with your sexual energy.

6. Foreplay - every man needs be taught that foreplay should last 24/7. It is not just love notes and a little 'rub here and there.' Foreplay is about doing the dishes or maybe running you a bath while he puts the kids to bed. We need to communicate this to our partners and insist we are feeling valued at all times of the day, not just when it comes to sex.

7. Get to know your own body - learn how your body responds to touch, discover what you like and dislike. If you don't know what turns you on, then it will be difficult to tell your partner what pleasures you.

8. Embrace your sensuality - looking after your body is important. We need to cherish the temple in which we live! When you rub body lotion onto your skin, do you just slather it in or do you gently massage it into your skin? Take the time to think about how it feels on your skin - is it hot /cold? What does it smell like? How does your skin feel as you glide it over your curves?

Spoil yourself with sexy lingerie. Take notice of how your body moves when you are feeling more confident and sexy. Instead of dragging your body around, climb back in and really feel how amazing it is to be inside.

9. Try a new rule - instead of giving pleasure first, make sure you orgasm before he heads down his pathway to pleasure.

10. Get in touch with your body first, and speak up - it's time to start feeling good about yourself and your sexuality.

This is only a small part of what I teach in my Goddess Guide to Essential Learning and Good Girls Guide to Naughty Sex Workshops.

So ladies, have confidence in yourself, learn what makes you feel good, and learn to show your partner what you enjoy. Believe you are truly desirable and you will be.

Who needs female Viagra!"

Kylie is an author and writer for modern women. She is the founder of the hugely popular local blog Brisbane Woman and has hundreds of women tuning in each week to read her articles. Kylie's first book was published in 2005 and her second is due for publication in 2009. Kylie is a freelance writer for The Courier Mail Newspaper, Brisbane Magazine and QCG Magazine.

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Why Women Don't Like Other Women

It is so commonplace to hear women degrade other women just because they are women. I can not count the number of times I've heard women say that they'd rather befriend a man rather than a woman. They say that other women are caddy. And their male friends are much more entertaining and fun to be around.

This article wouldn't need to be written if there was truth, and clarity in those voices of discrimination being echoed across the country by women against other women. From a psychological and spiritual perspective I can understand why it is happening. But there is no justification in prejudging another human being just because you haven't resolved your own issues.

Our society has become sensitive to the struggles of different minorities. We hold hands and sing songs of unity and hope when it comes to overcoming racism. We march in support of those dying from life threatening diseases and we volunteer our time, and sometimes lives, to make sure our brothers or sisters in other countries have adequate shelter, food, water, and health care.

Still, there is an insidious cancer that has been infecting the minds of ordinary people for a very long time. It's a mindset that not only diminishes the credibility and importance of its victim but at the same time will convince the victim to spread the poison.

Hating women, as well as gays, is still very much alive. The former, we don't talk about and the latter, we stand on street corners expressing our reasons of justification. Yet, little girls and grown women continue to be driven into back alleys to be, raped, beaten, and often times killed. And it's not just in this country but in many other wealthy and powerful societies, women are disposable waste.

They ... we, are something to be exploited, used, bought, shipped, and rented. Our bodies are contorted into whatever fashion is deemed presentable by the man with the money. Our half nude bodies are plastered on street corners, beer advertisements, billboard campaigns, trains, planes, and automobiles. And where we want to be ... boardrooms, behind the pulpits, or on the front lines, there is always somebody's justification holding us back.

Unfortunately, that justification given by men who find it necessary to slap women around, assault them, mentally and emotionally enslave them is the same justification being exercised by women, who for no other reason than that they're women, despise other women.

I understand it as old fashioned, internalized oppression from a psychological perspective. And from a spiritual perspective, I know it to be the person still in search of Self, God, and Love. However, there's no justification in causing or prolonging the pain, shame, guilt, and angst of millions of women. Women who, just like you, want only to matter and be treated like decent human beings. Remember the saying ... "Together we stand, divided we fall." Well, take a look around. Women are falling all around you and there is no one there to catch them. I'm not saying go be every woman's best friend. But the next time you have an opportunity to befriend a woman, don't just sit back and think you're better or somehow different. You just might find a friend or even better, you might find yourself.

Felecia Townsend is a relationship enthusiast and personal coach. She has spent years learning the art of successful relationships and through her philanthropic writing is giving back to the community that has given her so much.

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G-Spot Pleasure - Awaken Your Body to Full Orgasmic Bliss

Ladies, you get to experience greater pleasure in your own body, for yourself, for your awakening and delight! Replenish your own self with luscious pleasure, delight and nurturing. By spinning gratitude around your G-spot, all the parts of your body that have been neglected, abandoned or forgotten get to be filled, appreciated, cherished and honored. This depth of full body pleasure awakens your inner aliveness and brings great inner joy, contentment and satisfaction.

A woman's sexual energy is round, plump, gooey, oozing, and rippling. Let your sexual energy flow. What turns you on? What is your passion? Literally, what makes you wet, hot and juicy? What makes your heart beat a little bit faster? What makes your toes open up, spread out, and want to curl backwards? What makes you want to get up and move around? What makes the tightness in your neck relax, your shoulders drop, and the energy start to slowly trickle down and tingle your inner thighs? You can feel your labia get slightly bigger, turn a bit pinker and start to get hot. What are your triggers?

Our culture perpetuates the belief that this level of ecstasy, cellular orgasm, is not allowed. Women have been trained to deny our passion. For millennia it has been totally forbidden and taboo for a woman to sink into and delight in her own inner transformation. The inner erotic, the juice of life has been given away, taken by a lover, mate or even a stranger. To swim in and luxuriate in the deep reservoir of dark tantalizing empowering fluid and use it all for one's transformation is truly radical.

Spinning gratitude around your G-spot creates a deep level of inner satisfaction and pleasure that fills up internal reservoirs. Most women spend their lives giving to others, and little time is left to nurture and care for oneself. The internal reservoirs dry up leaving no reserve for you. Spinning gratitude around your G-spot is a tool to fill the neglected, abandoned parts of yourself with pleasure, nurturing and love.

The tissue of your G-spot has receptor sites that hold memory patterns. For some women this spot may be painful or bring up tears, anger or other strong emotions when touched. As the old memory patterns are cleared from the G-spot, new levels of pleasure can be experienced. The key is to release the built up layers of unconscious patterns. These unconscious patterns can come from your mother, grandmother or they can be a product of the media. Sexual violation and abuse are also major factors that get imprinted in the cellular layers of your body.

By spinning gratitude around your G-spot, the low frequency vibrations start to release. As these get cleared from your body, there is more possibility for greater pleasure, relaxation and joy in your body. Once your G-spot is cleared of the past, amazing delight is waiting for you. G-spot orgasms bring a remarkable depth of pleasure.

In the inner erotic, the Shakti gets to build and be recycled to revitalize and create a harmonic resonance in the cellular structure creating a grid and a pathway to the pleasure inside. Love flows in filling all the unloved, half-dead spaces. Thank you, the cells respond as more love permeates the space. In this deep dimensionless cavity there is the capacity to fuel the body with passion, pleasure and delight.

Connecting to this power source is a way of bringing peace, balance and harmony into the world. We are connecting and resonating our true nature, not the one cut off by thoughts or judgments, but a reality that resonates fully as a whole, integrated being. Sinking into the great mystery with every atom and cell of your body, such deep peace is met, a true home and safety in the midst of all the chaos. This is the ancient deep source of wisdom where the physical meets the spiritual and the universal.

Excerpt from the upcoming book, Sacred Erotic Bliss, by Dr. Cynthia Miller.

For a guided visualization meditation to transform your G-Spot - please visit http://brainforsuccess.com/sacrederotic.html. Dr. Miller is a pioneer and ground breaker in the fields of cellular transformation and deep transformative change. She received a Ph.D. in the Psychology of Change and Cellular Transformation in 1985, and has spent over twenty-five-years as a psychotherapist and later as a consultant exploring the cellular structures of thousands of people, assisting them to live in greater health, prosperity, joy, and delight. To create more pleasure, passion, joy and delight in your life visit http://www.brainforsuccess.com for information, audios to download and books. Receive your Free copy of The Gift of Gratitude!

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